to all you dads out there.
When it comes to parenting, we spend a lot of time and energy focusing on moms. Pick up just about any parenting magazine and I can guarantee it will be geared toward female readers. Look at the amount of time and energy we spend on mothers’ day: cards, corsages, flowers, gifts. It seems like fathers’ day is usually an afterthought.
And in a way that’s appropriate. Let’s face it: we moms are higher maintenance (come on girls, just admit it) and we like our men with a certain stoic and rock-like quality that defies fussing.
But I think that far too often there are some important truths that go unsaid.
First of all, men are absolutely vital to the health and welfare of families in particular and our society as a whole. In a culture where marriage is optional and even conception does not really require active male participation (think fertility clinics and sperm banks), the role of men has been ruthlessly undercut. Our abortion laws do not require the consent of the father before his own child is murdered, and most states’ laws presumptively favor the mother in custody cases. We have told men not only that we do not need them, but that their presence is even harmful. We tell them that they are inherently violent and that this is damaging. We medicate young boys for ADHD when a healthy regimen of lots of sports and zero TV would probably do wonders. We seem to want everyone essentially to be female.
That, my friends, is what we call horse hockey.
What is desperately needed today are strong men. Men who know what a firearm is and how to use it appropriately. We need men who know what honor and duty are and who can model those qualities for their kids. We need men who will vocally stand up for what is right without apologizing for hurting anyone’s feelings. Frankly, we need more of the Marlboro man and less Dr. Phil.
Women cannot teach boys to be men. We cannot show our sons how to handle adversity like men or, for that matter, how to walk and talk like men. The men must do that. Indeed, we can only tell our sons and (as we all know, God bless their hearts) that just doesn’t cut it with males. Our culture is seeing the effects of what happens when men no longer teach the next generation to be men.
And our sons are not the only ones who need their fathers. Our daughters need their dads to show them what to expect from their own husbands someday. They need the unconditional love and safety that are found in daddy’s strong arms. The truth is that no matter how old a girl gets, no matter how tough she is, no matter how many kids of her own she may have, no matter how much she loves her husband, there is a part of each of us that still longs to curl up next to daddy and hear that it will all be okay.
So for you dads out there who are, both figuratively and literally, sticking to your guns, I applaud you. With all my heart I thank you and encourage you to stay the course, no matter what. We may have a fifty percent divorce rate, but that means that at least half of you out there are still fighting the good fight, proving to the world that there are people capable of and committed to doing the right thing. You have not abandoned your wives and kids, even at great pressure to do so. You sit enthusiastically through piano recitals, little league games, and tumbling practice. (You might even, just every now and then, be loving enough to sit stoically, if not joyfully, through a theater or opera performance.) You put up with your wife’s mood swings and dietary escapades, assuring her that the baby fat is just “more to love,” and you don’t consider church attendance the mark of a wuss or a whimp.
In short, we love you and thank you. Especially, of course, Dad, Dad2, and Mr. Smart-Lass. I love all three of you and I know the Little Dude will learn from the very best.